Somewhere Over the Rainbow?

 Daily Cosmic Calendar:  “Perhaps this day will bring the calm after yesterday's storm that was initiated by the near simultaneous stations of asteroid Vesta and distant planet Pluto. As this calendar has suggested for the last 28+ years, celestial events on one day don't necessarily disappear the day after. Instead, there can be a cumulative effect, a layering of several days' cycles and alignments in any given 24-hour time-period.”  Sometimes it’s hard not to think the world revolves around you.  I’m in my Saturn return.  A Saturn Return is believed to be an astrological phenomenon that occurs at the ages of 27-30, 58-60, and finally from 86-88 (if you make it that far).  The reason why it is called a Saturn return is because it takes about 29.5 years for Saturn to make one orbit around the sun.  Astrologers say that during this time a person must cross over a big change or threshold to enter in the next stage of their life.  The first Saturn Return, the person leaves their youth behind and enters adult-hood, the second they reach maturity and the final is that the person enters into wise old age.  The first one is the most famous because it is a test of character and a test of what the person has grown and built themselves on over the previous 30 years.  It’s a time of change and to get out of old ways of thinking, living, communicating that aren’t productive for that person.  It’s a time of reevaluation and life restructuring.  It can be positive or negative, but most of the time it’s just figuring yourself out one more time, yet again.  I’m officially 29 and a few days and apparently, according to the daily cosmic calendar there was a storm somewhere in the universe and I guess, that this has been culminating for 28+ years.   I know; I know the world doesn’t revolve around me, it revolves around the sun.  I got it but sometimes the coincidences are a bit strong.  I know, I know astrology can be read and make sense for a lot of people, it’s generalizing and it’s usually us who make the connections that we want to make, it does make for an interesting conversation about life though.  Oh ya, and there was a bit of a storm yesterday in my life too.

I woke up this morning at Maggie’s place.  Maggie is, excuse me was, dating Mr. 2 who is also her roommate.  Anyway, I woke up this morning and remembered my dream.  It was a pretty intense dream and very realistic to me.  My dream was that I was Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz.  I loved that movie growing up.  I used to nanny for this little girl, who is now a teenager (I am getting older!) and when I would blow dry her hair we would sing “Somewhere over the rainbow”.  I would always get these two verses mixed up, but it didn’t matter because she liked hearing me sing while her hair was being dried.  The two verses that I always got mixed up were “somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue” and “somewhere over the rainbow, blue birds fly”.  Anyway, Dorothy longs for a place “where troubles melt like lemon drops”, she meets tons of characters along the way and has adventures.  I’m trying not to write too much about other people’s drama in this land far far away where skies are blue and I wish upon a star, but poor Maggie had a rough night last night.  Mr. 2 and her broke up earlier in the week because he kissed another girl, they had been dating for a month or so and been living together as well.  Mr. 2 liked another girl and kissed her, Maggie and him broke up.  Maggie didn’t come home one night and then last night, Mr. 2 brought home a girl.  Oh, Maggie.  I met Maggie at the Blue Marlin, I was hanging out with my little Maria Jose after working at the Argentinean for a little goodbye glass of wine and Maggie told me the story.  We decided to go to 50 Bar where Brett was working.  Oh, Brett.  Sigh, timing is everything?  I’ll get to that later or maybe I’ll just leave it as is.  We get to 50 Bar and they are closing up, but they’ll stay open for one more drink.  We decide to go back to Brett’s place with friends’ of his roommates who are visiting, oh my head is spinning too much troubles and peoples.  Anyway, we hang out.  Maggie doesn’t want to go home alone.  Brett is tired from working all day and all night, I think he likes me.  He said he likes me, but I’m leaving.  The timing is all off.  Time is of the essence?  Time is on our side?  Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the future.  So I go home with Maggie.  We make a bit of noise when we get to her place, Mr. 2 opens the door and, oh yeah, the power is out.  Mr. 2 opens the door and tells us to be quiet because he’s got to go to work in the morning.  We decide to go outside and sit in the mango tree and talk about boys.  Oh boys, boys, boys.  Maggie says she thinks that Brett is an actual nice guy, he has a heart and doesn’t want to get hurt.  Mr. 2, I’m not really quite sure what’s up with him, but we are sitting under the mango tree when he walks out with a girl, the girl that he cheated on Maggie with and walks her home.  Then he comes back.  It was definitely a storm, then the lights came back on and I went inside because I was getting eaten alive by the mosquitoes and the last thing I need is to get Malaria again before I leave.  Maggie and I are nice girls, actually most girls are nice girls.  And maybe, most guys are nice guys.  They have to be, I have to believe that.  Is this part of my Saturn return to think that maybe most guys aren’t nice guys?  I thought Mr. 2 was a nice guy, he is a nice guy, I know that Brett is a nice guy.  I guess that you shouldn’t push it with the whole nice thing, everyone makes mistakes. 

I’ve been pushing it with Brett and it won’t work out.  Partly because I like him, even though I don’t know him, partly because I’m leaving.  I stumbled upon the online dating site the other night with my roommate and we had a good laugh.  My favorite is the guys who say they are intelligent and misspell intelligent.  My two favorites; one who is a definite no no because he has rules: “Rule 1. My type includes; brunets [sic] exclusively, brains are mandatory, down to earth, confident but not too much, trustworthy and independent.  Rule 2. I don't do; mental cases, standoffish or secretive friends, family or associate. Anyone with a criminal background need not apply.  Rule 3. If we aren't having sex then we are just friends, that means you pay your way until things change.”  Everything is wrong with him, but I did like the guy who said: “Money can't buy happiness. That phrase should end with just kidding. Because money can buy a jetski. Have you ever seen someone unhappy on a jetski?”  Ugh, I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.  Anyway, I usually don’t push guys, but on Sunday I went for a walk with Dorte.  She showed me the iron shore, which is evidently right next to where Brett works.  I said hi.  I had seen him the night before because Chase, Kala, Mo,  Eddie and DMT2 and I went to a “rave” (more like a party) on the beach.  We stopped off at 50 Bar before we went to the “rave” and he was working there.  Anyway, saw Brett again on Sunday, unintentionally and then on Monday a bit kinda, intentionally.  I was taking care of Max and we went to the iron shore to look for crabs.  We hung out with Brett at the diveshop where he works and Max looked at books, including one that Brett had made.  I felt like a stalker.  Later, Mo, Max and I went to go shopping for his birthday party decorations and as I was telling Mo about Brett, I told her that he was working at the Green Flash Bar and she said that we should go there for a drink.  I kinda wanted to, I kinda didn’t want to but we went.  I stayed until he closed up, Mo and Max had left earlier.  No I wasn’t crazy girl sitting at the bar alone, I was talking to this very nice guy who was from England and a commercial diver.  Anyway, Brett closes up.  I walk out with him, he’s tired.  He’s been working all day and all night.  We kiss, I go home.  I’m running out of time and should not focus on that and enjoy my last days here. 

On Monday Dorte takes me for a walk someplace different.  We go on a crocodile walk.  It was so much fun exploring with her.  She’s started telling me stories about how she and Uwe met, how they came here, how they got the shop and all those good things.  Here’s a bit to share:

“How Uwe and Dorte ended up on Roatan”

The idea of moving or at least revisit Central America got planted in their heads in the end of the eighties. They had visited friends in Guatemala and El Salvador and just fell in love with the country.  Almost 10 years passed before they came back to Central America. First Uwe and Dorte had to live out the dream of having a house on the countryside in Denmark with garden, dogs, cats, chickens, ducks and a pig.  Every Sunday they would study the travel section in the newspaper and dream of places far away.  Then one Sunday, a Danish journalist had a brilliant article about the Bay Islands and Roatan, and it just sounded to be the place you have to visit.  They were still not divers at that time, but they kept the article and made it a goal that one time they would go there. In the meantime Uwe got certified as a CMAS diver at the local diveclub.  Dorte was not as hardcore and chose to get Padi certified on Crete, Greece.  Anyhow, she managed to join Uwe and his drysuit buddies for around 10 cold water dives on the west coast of Denmark.  Then finally the day came, Uwe and Dorte had saved up for a month vacation to ROATAN in October 1998.  It took a bit longer to save up, because every time they were close, the car broke down and had to be fixed.... Anyways. They arrived and, of course, the taxi driver tells them that Dolphin Hotel is the only place that has room available this late of the day. By the way they still do that to people arriving late in the day. [The Dolphin Hotel is a super shitty hotel.]  They go for a little stroll, and first impression is THATS IT?  That’s gonna be 4 long weeks. Well, they did find a nicer place to stay at Geophries Tropical Hide away and met tall skinny Dutch Ron. They are still big friends. Shared a lot of rum and stories and still do, by the way.

Uwe and Dorte went diving every day. Everything was beautiful a pristine. Huge groupers the size of Dorte, her new dive buddies. Then it was fall 1998. Hurricane season. Well, of course, Hurricane Mitch passed by to say hello. It was interesting days. No power -no water- no internet. Well internet was not very common those days anyway.  So the news about the storm was sparse. Rudy’s [the owner of Geophries] family decided they should empty the concrete water cistern and use it as a shelter. All right, so they did. They were all prepared. But Mitch just kept harassing Guanaja and they got just close enough.

So one might think, that’s it, they are never coming back. No, for them, seeing people helping people in the community effort at getting things back on track and collect to them that lost stuff was the most amazing thing. Unfortunately, they had to leave a week early because of family issues back home.  They thanked everyone for a great time, and told Ron, Hi Dutch boy, we will be back and be your neighbor again.  Uwe and Dorte went back to Denmark sold the rest of their belongings (the car they sold to the mechanic, well, he knew they had replaced all parts possible).  

So Uwe and Dorte pack their bags once again in January 1999, this time for a bit longer. They arrived in Miami on Superbowl weekend. Great! No room under a $100 to be found. Welcome to Miami.  They arrived on a beautiful sunny day in Roatan and this time they didn’t believe the taxi driver.  So there they were. No plans at all.  They dove a lot and gained experience of the reef and above water, the island life. How things work or not work. How patience can be worth gold.  Uwe does his divemaster and later instructor. Dorte learns to go diving without Uwe being her dive buddy. A guy named Clyde assured he would look after her. And he did. So Uwe gains experience as divemaster, instructor, gains knowledge about equipment maintenance, air compressors and boat engines.  Dorte gains experience being the shop girl and observe and learn what she would do and not do if it was her shop. As a former veterinary assistant she would go to volunteer at the clinic in Coxen Hole once a week when the veterinary came over from La Ceiba. So dogs and cats, don't get sick any other days of the week!

After 14 months, they decided it was time to see other places than Central America. Of they went to Asia. 4 months later they are back in Roatan! And it was great to come back "home".  They missed it so much.  They got their old jobs back. And then Uwe and Dorte got to be friends with Tyll.  That started a whole new chapter.”

I’m still gathering the stories quickly before I leave and hopefully will get more to share.  Anyway, Dorte is the perfect adventure buddy.  We walked along the crocodile walk, we walked to the abandoned Inn at Last Resort, we found a beautiful bay looking out to Gibson Bite protected by the reef.  There is the coolest spot for a bar in the bay, on sticks looking out into the beautiful Caribbean.  It’s abandoned and you can tell that one day not too far off it was the happening place, there are still things written on the wood that time has not faded.  After Maggie had her stormy night I decided to share this gem with her.  I did not have my bathing suit, but we decided to go for a bit of swim in the bay.  I told Maggie about my dream.

I was Dorothy and Fish was the Scarecrow, DMT2 was the Cowardly Lion and Brett was the Tin Man.  We were walking along a path and I looked down and saw my ruby red slippers.  They were the crocs that my mom had left for me when she was here.  I clicked my heels and said there is no place like home and woke up.  For Dorothy, at the end, when she misses her balloon flight back to Kansas, she thinks she’ll live forever in Oz.  Then Glinda, the good witch says that she’s always had the power to return home, through the power of the ruby slippers.  The good witch tells Dorothy that she never told her that before because she needed to find out for herself that she didn’t need to run away to find her heart’s desire.  I’m counting down the days now, it’s been a great dream and I’m almost ready to wake up.