Good Fiascos, Bad Fiascos

me, Mo and Robyn

The good news is that my ear is getting better, but the bad news is I’m out for another 2 and an half weeks.  Last Thursday Mo and I went to Anthony’s Key Resort to have another checkup for my ear because the first time I went in the doctor could not see my eardrum.  This time the doctor said that the infection was clearing up, but that I had a perforation in my right eardrum.  Mo took a look and said that yes, she could see the black dot on my eardrum.  The doctor said that the perforation should heal in 2 weeks but that I couldn’t go diving until at least a week later because it wouldn’t be strong enough to equalize so 3 weeks in total out of the water.  I only have one more skill, the equipment exchange, to do to complete my DMT.  So it’s another 2 weeks and maybe I won’t know how to dive by then, so the new DMT’s Conal and Michael will have to do a refresher course for me.  Ha ha.

I started working at this restaurant; the first day was their infamous Sunday Brunch.  Infamous because although the sign says free flowing Champagne Brunch for $16 a person the one time Kala, Chase and Conal and I went there they were out of champagne.  Fine, fine it can happen I guess so they offered us any other drinks we wanted from the bar as a substitute.  We all order our favorite cocktail and then waited for 30 minutes to get our drinks and bottled water.  Finally, we get our drinks and we order as well.  Well the food took about an hour to come and it wasn’t that great, in fact the whole thing was quite a fiasco.  So I worked my tail off the first day for their Sunday Brunch, of course learning the ropes with Samary the other waitress who had been there for 2 months.  I found a new appreciation for servers and on top of that for kitchens that run properly.  Excuse my French but the kitchen was a bit of a clusterfuck, people running around with their heads cut off with no idea of any order what so ever.  I’ve watched enough reality food channel shows to know that yes it can be stressful, but if the Iron Chef and 2 helpers can make something like 5 courses on the fly within an hour, these people should be able to have it down pat on how to make an eggs benedict in 15 to 30 minutes.  Oh crap, I forgot I live in Honduras.  Well, the food is pretty good there when the chef is there; apparently he wasn’t there the day that we went in before for brunch.  I made a decent amount of money there the first day, but the next nite it was a fucking fiasco.  Plates were being smashed, apparently someone had too much to drink and I made less money than the first day.  My third day the shift was during the day.  Someone sent home the other waitress because her clothes were inappropriate for some reason and I was the only waitress.  It again was busy from 8am until 4pm, the kitchen was a bit more organized I also tried to push them more and at the end of my shift I made $15.  Now 10% is included in the bill already, and I shared my tip with the 2 kitchen staff and the bartender and I’m assuming that the food sales for the day was around $350 or so and I know that almost everyone put in extra tip because I was a good waitress J but after my $10 a shift pay out my tip was only $5.  Sorry Charlie, if I wanted to volunteer my time I’d work some place a little bit more organized.  The next day I went to the Argentinean Grill and they said that yes, they were looking for one more wait-staff and they said they would call me and that I could work there.  Sometimes the world works in mysterious ways, remember the story about how when I first came here with my parents that we went to the Argentinean Grill and now hopefully I’ll be working there.

max on his new birthday wish a waterscooter

One afternoon it was unbearably hot.  I can tell, even though it is raining as I’m writing this that the hot weather is coming.  Apparently it gets so uncomfortably hot in the summer, with the humidity and the sun that diving is the best way to cool off.  Anyway, the doctor said that I couldn’t jump in the water, well that I couldn’t go under the water.  Mo was going to Half Moon Bay with Max to sit on the beach by Sundowners and cool off.  I joined her, as did this girl named Amanda.  Amanda’s in my life have always been these amazing women.  This website I used to read all the time called Gawker did articles about women’s names from A-Z, using the author’s own high school knowledge of the type of girl as well as famous people to support her articles.  It was pretty clever and well written.  Well, I think for A they did Anna not Amanda, but if they had done Amanda I think it would be the girl next door with a twist.   Interesting, intriguing and Amanda’s definitely a good match to be friends with a Jacquie.  Amanda, Mo, Max and I hung out to later be joined by Robyn.  Four girls together always make me think a little bit about Sex and the City, but four amazing girls will rock your life.  4 must be the magic number for girls.  The great thing about Sex and the City was that each girl could identify with one of the characters, on a deeper level all the ladies on the show were characteristics of women; everyone has a little Charlotte, Carrie, Miranda and Samantha in them.  Well my 3 girls and I chatted until the sun went down at Sundowners and then grabbed a bite to eat at the Dive where we watched old leathery tourists dance while waiting for their food with their shirts off, not the women, just the men.  The weather is getting better which also means that there has been so many more tourist then when I got here.  After dinner we went to the Blue Marlin, Max had to go to bed, he is almost 3 and still has a bedtime, so Mo and him left.  Robyn, Amanda and I hung out for a while longer with our DMT’s Conal and Michael for another drink and then went home.

The next day I met Paul and Tyll.  After busting my bum at the restaurant and trying not to be too bummed that I made $5 tip for 8 hours of work and trying not to think that somehow the owner’s had screwed me over, I chatted for a while with this older English fellow named Paul.  The characters I have met here cannot be made up; they are priceless and so unique.  Well, Paul and I talked about my future career in marriage counseling and his marriage and his children from different women and his life and viewpoint in general.  He’s got amazing stories and amazing connections, all the type of rock and roll English people of a certain age he’s a friend with because he owns a teahouse in England next to some famous musician.  Well, Paul and I had a very entertaining conversation and then the famous Tyll came over.  I dive at Tyll’s Dive, which is currently and has been owned for the last 8 years or so by Uwe (my grumpy german) and Dorte (sweetest little Dane ever).  Tyll moved to Roatan after an already extremely fascinating and full life and started the dive shop over 25 years ago and was the first dive shop in West End.  He still owns the land under the shop as well as the restaurant next to us and the ATM that hasn’t worked since in the 3 months I’ve been here.  He is the namesake, obviously, of the shop, and the creator of our slogan “Fiasco’s in Paradise” which couldn’t be more fitting for most of the things that happen on this crazy little island.  Also, Tyll said fiasco about 10 times during the hour that he and Paul talked while 2 American men of a certain age; one who was wearing a Ron Paul 2012 tank top with his white Mohawk hair flowing down longer than my hair and the other in his hawaiiana floral shirt opened with a tank top and a Nascar hat listened.  Eddie, Mo and I also witnessed the amazing banter of Paul and Tyll, the crazy stories where they fill each other in the details the other omitted or to rag on the other person a little bit or to put in their version of their extremely interesting stories.  These things are amazing and hopefully have been written down in some form.  It’s a slice of paradise with all sorts of fiascos written in the storyline.  There is a reason they are best friends and like all the best duos in history, they make each other- they complete each other.  One quick story, which I will not do justice because not only do you have to hear it from them with their own inflections, accents and with Tyll and Paul constantly saying fiascos in all right moments is the story on how they met.  Tyll is sitting at his house one morning on the deck having his morning beer when 4 black hawks come rolling into the island.  It was during the Iran Contra scandal and he thought that “holy fuck, what a fucking fiasco, the Nicaraguans are taking over Roatan.”  Well, it wasn’t part of that just some special ops or something that if they really told me what was going on they would have to kill me or something like that, so this team of men come up to Tyll’s house, which is one of the few in West End at the time and they had heard that he can fill scuba tanks.  So Tyll says, who the fuck are you, Paul says, will you fill our tanks?, Tyll says, yes but you have to have a beer with me first.  A friendship forms and many fiascos follow.  There is nothing like serendipitous moments that change your life forever.

Well, Paul runs a cruise ship excursion here and the next day he had invited Mo to sell her jewelry from one of her friends back in Holland to the cruise shippers.  The brand is called Good Times, it’s beautiful silver with a funky bohemian style to it made by this world traveler dude.  I help Mo out by setting up the jewelry for the cruise shippers to see.  Unfortunately nobody bought any that day, but it was a good experience to set up the jewelry (it reminded me of doing the fashion shows I used to do back when I lived in New York and we had shows in LA and NYC.)  I’m pretty sure Paul’s girlfriend wants something or five things and will persuade her honey to buy her something soon.  J

Tyll had asked me the first night I met him if I new the no decompression limits.  Now to be honest, I understand the basics of them… how long you can stay at a certain depth before a person starts getting bent or how long you have to wait before you dive again, but I figured he was probably the master at teaching and it was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up.  One morning after drinking too much with Robyn, Michael and this romantically challenged guy named Andy, I went to Tyll’s deck, which is behind the shop to learn.  (Side note about Andy; one of the sweetest guy on the island, a British guy who seems hopelessly devoted to his on again/off again girlfriend who is also one of the cutest girls on the island.  Their story could be written into a soap opera or classic romantic story.)  So Tyll taught me the no decompression limits and the theory behind them and the history.  He first told me about free diving and how a person can actually dive to 100 feet.  Diving with a SCUBA tank you must be aware of the the cause and effect of pressure on gases in your body and the air you are breathing.  At a certain time the Nitrogen in your body can become too compressed and there is a time limit at each depth that your body can handle stay there until it turns into liquid and can cause the bends or Decompression Illness if you don’t have a decompression stop.  For recreational diving we officially only use no decompression diving because we don’t have stops along the way up from a depth to let the Nitrogen dissolve back into the body (well, we do have a safety stop, but that is for safety).   Pressure increases as you increase in depth, the partial pressure on oxygen increases as well when you decrease which can become a problem because you can get oxygen toxicity so there is another thing which you must be aware of while diving to deep limits.  Tyll told me about the rule of 120, for Navy diving which at a certain depth you can stay down for a certain number of minutes which when you add the two numbers up equals 120.  The rule of 120 is not used anymore though because people were still getting the bends because although these are theories each person’s body dissolves gases and responds to pressure in different ways.  The PADI diving became more conservative and thus we do not use the rule of 120 for recreational diving.  Tyll is an amazing teacher and I feel very fortunate to have spent the 45 minutes with him teaching me about the no decompression limits.  Hopefully you learned something as well.  J

After my lesson with Tyll, I helped Mo set up the jewelry again for another event at the Blue Marlin.  The Roatan Woman’s Club was having their monthly lunch at the Blue Marlin.  It’s always interesting to meet people in different circles and network with them as well as to see women on this island who are successful in business.  We got a positive response to the jewelry again, but again there were no sales.  Mo is planning on opening a little boutique at the Blue Marlin so it was good to preview the jewelry.  It was a good lunch and afterwards quite a few people were headed off to West Bay to see the airshow.  Yes, an airshow.  It seems a little obscure for a 3^rd world country to have an airshow but it did happen and it was an absolutely beautiful day.  4 pilots and their group came down to celebrate 25 years of shows and the day could not have been more beautiful.  The regulations for the airshows here are unlike anywhere else the pilots have been because well, there weren’t any regulation.  You could tell the pilots were having the best time flying over the beautiful Caribbean Sea with the beach, the dive boats and the big cruise ship in the background.  Absolutely picturesque.  Completely priceless and everyone was in a good mood.  Max fell in love with airplanes and now for his birthday (our birthday) he wants not only a motorcycle, a bike, a horse, a helmet, a watch, a water scooter but also a plane.  He’s all boy, that’s for sure.

pictures all from the facebook group Roatan Photography of the airshow

Well, today is a busy day.  I’m packing my stuff from Noelle’s house to move in with Peter and Mel.  They live closer to town behind the police station.  Canada is playing the US in the hockey final for the gold.  I also have committed to Uwe and Dorte that I will join them for a early Sunday dinner and most importantly I am supposed to meet up with my girlfriends online again for a videoconference via Skype.  I know this time they will remember the video camera because they are having at my very responsible friend Liz’s house who already has the computer at her house and she doesn’t have to depend on the other girls to bring a camera.  I can’t wait to see all their beautiful faces.

Oh and of course, last but not least boys.  So my mystery boy turns out to have a girlfriend.  He’s Canadian and she’s Canadian.  I heard from Robyn that he had a girlfriend and then the next day saw him at Sundowner’s with his girlfriend watching the first hockey game between Canada and the US (where we of course won).  They started dating about 2 months ago, which maybe if I had gotten the courage to ask him out things would have been different?  Or maybe not; you never can tell.  I am kinda seeing this other guy very casually.  The guy from the story about the Gypsy, the Frenchie and the Game… that character named Fish.  He’s older, fun, a cool guy but like my mom said when she met him maybe you shouldn’t bring him home to meet your dad (because there is a closer age proximity between them then with me).  He’s really a great guy and hopefully he’ll be a good friend even after I leave.  Ok, enough digressing I’ve got to go pack!

 

Trials and tribulations of a self-proclaimed gossip queen

So I have an ear infection. No lets start with the good things first, I know they always say save the best for last, but the best is still to come? Ok, good things; Blue Channel, Immigration, Dumb and the Chica (ya they are actually a good thing), Volunteering, Job, Sabrena and Troy and Anna and Ben, and fun boys.

Blue Channel is a dive site here that the shop chose for me to do a map of for my DMT. It’s funny because my good friend Todd was the shop’s first DMT and his map was of Blue Channel as well. Todd is married to my best friend Courtney who is pregnant and I’m missing so much. Todd was down here about 8 or 9 years ago with our good friend Lanai, keep up I’m a gossip queen remember and there are lots of names to remember. Then a few years later Brad, adorable Brad, came down to do his dive masters training too. Of course one of the main points of me coming down here and doing my dive master with Tyll’s Dive Shop is because of my favorite boys: Todd, Lanai and Brad. Each of the boys before I came down gave me their own advice; don’t do coke (like I would), don’t hook up with locals, bring your own cutting knife and pan, ask for the local discount, where to go, don’t leave your shoes outside and people to meet (of course the people change like crazy down here, but still good advice). The boys also told me that each were the best divemaster the shop had ever had and that their map of a dive site was the best. Well, my site was originally going to be a site called Sea Quest Shallow, but the mooring line disappeared for about a month and then Uwe and Dorte (the shop owners who came to Colorado when Courtney and Todd got married) changed the map to Blue Channel because according to some people “the old one they had was crap and they needed a better map.” Love you Todd! Todd’s map still hangs on the door to the compressor room, it’s the top map front and center and says on it, boxed in on the map “tons of frog fish” and “loads of swim throughs.” There are no frog fish that I’ve seen here and for the swim throughs would be nice on the map to have the depth that the entrance is and a bit more detailed overall so I rose to the challenge. Funny story, side note of course, I did my open water course in Aruba about a year and some months ago and on my first two dives I saw 2 frog fish. Apparently they are some diver’s cats meow, the fountain of youth and hard to spot item that all would like to see. Of course, my boys were pretty upset with me that on my first couple dives I saw the froggy fish when they had dove hundreds of times all around the world and hadn’t seen them. Whatever, beginner’s luck. So for my map Kala and Chase (Kala’s my instructor and Chase is the divemaster at the shop) and I went to Blue Channel to snorkel the site. They free dove while I did a topographic drawing of the site. The site is pretty big about 280 meters, and like the name says it is a channel and of course as Todd had pointed out in his map it has loads of swim throughs, but no frog fish.

It’s hard to tell from above where the swim throughs are so a couple days later, the other instructor Mo (also one of my bestest friend’s on the island and mother to Max) and I navigated the site with SCUBA. I, of course, led the dive and found all the markings for the swim throughs and other information for the map. After drawing the map from above and from below a light clicked on in my head and I totally got how the site was laid out. It was an amazing feeling to master such a skill and to finally get it sorted out and on paper. I think my boys would be proud of my map and maybe, maybe Todd and Brad would say that my map was better than theirs, but only on a nite when they were drunk and really were being honest. Lanai’s is very well done and I don’t think he would ever say that mine is better. They aren’t the same site so of course it’s hard to compare. J

The day after I drew my site I realized that my visa was expiring and I had to figure something out fast. There was this guy here who would charge $100 to get your visa extended but you had to be without your passport for at least a day and pay up front. Loads of people have done it, but still being a girl who lived in New York City who is skeptical of everything and living in Costa Rica where for 7 months as students our entire group never got our proper visas and did everything legally to try and get it, I had my reservations. I had also read in the lovely Lonely Planet that you can extend your visa once for 90 additional days by visiting the local immigration office and paying $20 a month. When I asked people about the immigration office no one knew what I was talking about. So I brought my passport and $100 to the shop and decided to give it to the guy who did it “illegally”. Well, we saw him that day and he told us that he had got cut off about 3 weeks before and no longer could do it. My friend DJ said that he knew a local guy here who could do it as well. That same day we ran into the guy and we talked. We talked about the immigration office and he said that they would only do it once and for 30 days. I decided the next day I would go to Coxen Hole where the immigration office was and extend for 30 days and then after that I would have a chance to think about doing it the other way later. So the next day I went to Coxen Hole, the office was closed because the officials were on the cruise boats. I called Uwe at the shop and he said to try at the airport. At the airport I talked to a really nice immigration official who gave me his name and number, asked me out on a date and told me the next day I should go back to the office in Coxen Hole and mention his name and they would extend my visa. The next day Mo and Max came with me to Coxen Hole and after about 10 minutes of conversing again in Spanish, a little flirting and $60 later I was officially legal in the country for another 90 days. Wow, not so bad, I felt like I needed that button from Office Max, the button for that says easy and the people say “well that was easy”. A few days later I took Max, Mo and Eddie to the Immigration to get them extended as well.

The best thing happened a few days after I got my visa extended. My best friend Sabrena, her boyfriend Troy and our friends Anna and Ben came for a way too quick visit. For Christmas Troy had bought Sabrena a cruise trip to come and see me. It was cheaper than flying here and staying here, so even though it was only for a few hours it was worth it. Noelle was nice to lend me her vehicle to go to the cruise ship dock Mahogany Bay to pick them all up. Mahogany Bay is the newest port, it does not look a thing like the rest of Roatan and any cruise shipper who only goes to the port will have no idea what the rest of Roatan looks like. So driving was a trip, but I managed pretty well on the curvy mountainous roads. I got to the port and flirted with one guy who let me park in the employee parking lot and then again flirted with two guys to get me into the port. The first guy at the port said that I could only stay for 5 minutes, which insane because anyone who has been on a cruise ship knows it takes forever to get off the ship as well as the fact that anyone who knows Sabrena knows that she’s always late. Well, the second guy let me in and said I could stay as long as I needed, so I did. I did have to wait about an hour and half, but finally I saw Troy coming up the ramp followed about 20 minutes later by Sabrena and another 20 minutes after by Ben and Anna. We drove back to West End to drop off the car Noelle’s house and then walked down to the shop. I showed them the town, my highlights and local points of interest, the people I knew, they met two of the guys I had kissed while here- Sabrena of course took some photographs to document the boys, we had lunch at Sundowners, they had Monkey La La’s (the island drink) and then we trespassed to look at the iron shore. The day was pretty rainy, but perfect for the iron shore with the waves crashing. It was magical to have these people that I loved and loved me unconditionally in this beautiful place. We headed back to the Blue Marlin to have another beer and rum punch for the girls before they left. We found them a taxi back to Mahogany Bay and Sabrena and I said our goodbyes with tears in our eyes. She said to me, I know we have said goodbye to each other in so many cities, and I told her, but we always get to say hello again. I love my poodle (that’s her nickname, I’m her monkey- it’s a best friend things).

Remember the story about Dumb and Dumber and the Chica? Well Dumb and the Chica actually came back to finish their Open Water Certification. Unfortunately Dumb might have been dumber than Dumber, but the Chica, the whiney no English chica actually passed and finished her dives. Mo and I started out again with Dumb and the Chica, but on the second dive we had serious issues with Dumb. He was a hazard to himself and those in the water. He was a fish out of the water in the water. The chica was pretty good and passed all the skills on the second open water dive, but Dumb took 20 minutes to get alternate breathing, wait no, he didn’t get alternate breathing. He tried to steal my regulator from my mouth and whenever he gave his alternate to someone else he gave it upside down which is extremely hard to breath. After the 20 minutes we decided to swim around, he kept going up to the surface up and down, up and down and worst of all at the end of the dive he dropped his weight belt, all 24 lbs of it 25 feet down on top of coral, totally crushing and destroying the delicate life. Mo and I had to search for it and then carry it up the mooring line because it was so freaking heavy. Mo and Dumb had a discussion about his safety as well as the fact that he still wasn’t applying himself or just not getting the theory part of the diving and I think Dumb decided to stop for the time being. He didn’t come back the next day with the Chica, she continued on without him and finally on her last day she passed the theory exam. With the help of one other person who explained to her in detail the dive tables and me explaining just about everything else, she freaking passed the final test and she’s now certified open water. It really is a great accomplishment, but perhaps the story will be continued because the Chica told me that Dumb (and possibly Dumber) will be back within 6 months to finish. Oh freaking joy.

After speaking tons of Spanish with the Chica I decided that it was a good idea to do more good deeds and speak more Spanish and visit the Marine Park to see how I could volunteer. A nice guy named Matt who is a scientist volunteering for the Park and killing the lion fish came by our shop and he told me about a few volunteer opportunities and one that caught my ear was going to schools to talk about the wildlife, recycling and reusing. I went the next day to the Marine Park to talk to the big boss Nick and he said that they would love to have my help and so next week I am tentatively going to some school with a native speaker to talk to 1^st graders and possibly 2^nd graders. I’m pretty excited and it sounds like an awesome opportunity to give back as well as educate.

The same day I decided that I really needed to get a restaurant job. My first stop was the Argentinean Grill, but it was Wednesday and the restaurant was closed. I then went to Sundowners, a bar and they said that I would have to come back the next day to talk to the manager. My third stop was a restaurant called the Lighthouse. I talked to the manager there and I’m starting on Sunday for their brunch. A little overwhelming because they have their Champagne Brunch, sigh. I’ll get through it and of course I’m excited to learn another new thing.

The day that Sabrena and Troy came my ear hurt. After they left, Mo took me to the doctors. We ended up going to Anthony’s Key Resort because the doctor at the first clinic was sick. At AKR the doctor looked at my ear and yep, I have an ear infection. Back on antibiotics, no drinking for a week and out of the water for a week. I’m surprised that it has taken me this long to an ear infection. When I was younger I must have had 5 tubes put in my ears because of ear infections. I had chronic ear infections for up until I was a 18 years old. At AKR I got to see the hyperbaric chamber for people with the bends and Mo and I walked around the Resort. The resort is very nice, it’s one of the biggest in all of the Caribbean and they have the swim with the dolphins.

So trials and tribulations of a self-proclaimed gossip queen on an island full of misfits is not always the easiest thing. It’s hard to know whom you can trust when you are on an island alone with people you have just met. I’m a pretty optimistic person and try to see the good in everyone, but on an island like this people’s bad traits are exposed at a higher level and come to fruition much quicker than at home and secrets are deadly. I’ve been pretty skeptical of getting too close to people, but as it happens from being at a place for a while you start trusting and letting your guard down and boundaries are crossed, which is ideally what I think a utopia life should be like- trust and honesty. But like all utopias, they don’t and can’t exist fully. What I’m trying to say is that I have burned, I trusted and then to find out that I was being talked about negatively behind my back. Of course, I don’t have too many secrets at this point and am honest with almost everyone, but it was my gossiping, my sharing and some generosity that was looked down upon and viewed as negatively. Being a gossip girl for me is more about sharing the positive things in people’s life. I know, I know that you have to be careful about what you say and to whom, but my sharing of good news was taken negatively and I may have lost a good friend here. Having Sabrena and Troy come to visit affirmed to me once again that I am one of the few fortunate people in this world who have amazing support system. I have said before that I could never have done this trip without my support- my amazing family and friends. I believe that the love you give is reciprocal to the love you receive, but not to give to get. The thing I was most missing while being here is my friends and family. My friend Brad had told me before I left that he loved this island but the worst part of traveling is having amazing adventures but missing those close friends, those people who know you the best and love you unconditionally. Those people who know you, who know that you don’t have malicious intent and who understand you without explanation. I tend to give too much and trust too much so coming here was a lesson like any other, trying something new and adapting. I’m sure it will work out in the end, a lesson learned and another chance to be honest about life with the people around you. Everyday here seems like I learn something new about the place, the people I meet and more importantly I learn more about myself. Even when I have a down day I have to remember that I’m on this beautiful island learning to a new wonderful thing underwater, seeing things that many people have never seen, experiencing a different life with different people. The sun shines, the rain comes, but the sun will always shine again.

I’m going back to the doctors again today, my ear doesn’t feel like it’s 100% better or even better at all. I really don’t want to get a perforated ear drum because then I’m out of the water for even longer. I have just my equipment exchange to do to complete my divemaster, but since we have been busy at the shop and now with my ear infection we haven’t been able to get into the water to finish the skill.

Oh and before I go, how can I miss the exciting gossip of my “love” life. I am lucky to be attracted to so many people here on the island, boys and girls (not sexual of course with the girls- sorry Todd, Lanai and Brad- I know you had your hopes up). Well, I’ve been flirting with a guy here and maybe have made out with him on top of the Blue Marlin Roof once. It’s all very casual which is good and it’s better because I’m being honest with what I want and need right now. I haven’t seen the guy for about a week, but with all the drama and ear infection and visas and best friends coming there is only so much I can put into one day. We have two new goodlooking boys at the shop doing their DMT’s Conal and Michael, more friends than any love interest and I have become closer to a few other of the guys on the island as friends.

My good friend Anne who has been sober for almost one year and a month (yay congrats girl) always reminds me to take it one step at a time and to be honest, honest with yourself and the people around you. I write this blog as much as for to stay in contact with my friends and family as for myself, to keep myself honest and courageous. Anne always says that courage is walking through your fears, or at least that’s what I think she says. J My writing has helped me get to that place to be honest and to communicate even when cell phones or the internet doesn’t work, because lets be honest I do live in a third world country where it takes much more effort to do the things that are so easy to do at home, like call your parents or send an email.

Thanks for the support from everywhere and the love that I feel even so far away. I love you all and it’s just another 3 months until I’m home and I’ll be missing here then. Such a conundrum, but such is life. The gossip girl is pretty philosophical too.

Buddha Float

On a typical Wednesday afternoon the boys; Chase, Conal and DJ decided to start the nite out right by doing Jaeger shots at 4pm.  Kala and I had our fresh handmade lime daiquiris and we all met up at the shop.  Along the way Noelle joined us and the boys decided that Red Bulls and Vodka are the way to go and thus we brought them to the Double Docks.  At the docks a party was already rocking.  Bisch and Joe had their guitars and Pam and Erna were playing the harmonicas.  A few others joined in and soon we were singing and literally rocking the Double D’s.  The song sung was “You can’t always get what you want”.   Then we thought it would be a great idea to go to Kala and Joes for a little impromptu party at the Pink Palace.  They are getting kicked out soon and it’s an amazing place with a pool and a private deck looking over Mangrove Bite.  We had to stop at the Marlin first because Noelle had to change out her car with Fou and Rita and we had to get the scooters at the Marlin.  Never before have I been on a scooter as much as I have here in Roatan.

At the Marlin we met up with some recently certified divers Charming Billy and his friend.  His name wasn’t Billy, of course, but charming he sure was.  Charming Billy bought us all a round of shots, which is always a great idea and then our whole gang, Charming and friend, in 4 scooters, one truck and one suv headed to Kala’s.  We went out to the deck and then the wind started picking up so everyone, besides Charming and I, decided to play a drinking game called and Kings.  I have absolutely no idea how the game works, I tried for a while but it seemed too complicated and talking to Charming Billy was more captivating at the time; especially when talking about the Buddha float.

What is a Buddha float?  In diving one of the skills in open water certification and a foundation for diving is neutral buoyancy.  Neutral buoyancy is when you float and control our buoyancy by your breathing by not sinking or rising, but staying at the same level. You’re neither negatively buoyant by sinking or positively buoyant by rising.  A lot of divers while practicing the skill will assume the crossed leg position, the lotus, with hands on their knees, a Buddha like position.  When you achieve it for the first time you get a certain Zen feeling as well.  Well, Charming Billy and I were talking about the characters that you meet in life he said to me that there are people who are on a Buddha float neither aspiring or reaching for something more nor are they sinking down; people who are on their Buddha float. 

After the game of debauchery, the Kings game, slumped off into a Buddha float neither progressing or digressing; everyone decided to jump into the pool.  I was getting ready to head home; Charming Billy and his friend wanted to go back to the bars, it was in the direction of my house (otherwise a half hour walk home) and I caught a ride on the back of the scooter with Mr. Billy.  They decided to stop at the cigar bar so the friend could find a guy that he had been talking to earlier who may or may not been on his own Buddha float and they asked me to join them.  Just for a bit more.  I told Charming that he was charming all nite, and that he reminded me of this book I had read once called Charming Billy.  It was one of the books that my mom reads; I think it was by the same author who wrote the Pilot’s Wife.  Well so the name stuck, and then Charming said that we should maybe make out on the beach.  Always a great idea right?

So we had been making out when we hear a startling noise.  It’s two policemen.  My stomach drops.  “What you were doing was indecent, please show us your identification and you’ll have to come with us to the police station for 24 hours.” (All in Spanish of course.)  I don’t have my identification and my phone is dead so I can’t call anyone.  Lovely.  It’s my turn to be charming.  I work on my best tourist Spanish, a lot of times saying no entiendo, because really they were mumbling and the conversation was quite confusing and not going anywhere.  Charming is sitting next to me and luckily had his drivers license and sometimes during the interrogation came up with a quip, sometimes answers in his best broken Spanish (which I find out later that he understood everything) and tries not to get in more trouble.  I am not spending the nite in any Honduran jail and Charming Billy leaves for the states the next day.  At one point I ask the policeman closest to me what we have to do to get out of it; I swear he said pagame- which means pay me.  When I reach out the 12 lempiras that I have in my pocket which amounts to 60 cents and say this is all I have, 12 lempiras the policeman looks at me and the money then says we don’t take bribes.  Later on in the conversation he asks me why I gave him the money, I tell him it’s because I thought he asked me to give him money so we wouldn’t go the police station for 24 hours.  Thus begins another 10 minutes of talking about how they don’t take bribes.  5 minutes after that they agree that they can take a volunteer donation if we would like to give it, but absolutely don’t take bribes.  Charming Billy pulls out $20 and we hand it to them.    Volunteer donation I tell them, they ask me to say that they don’t take bribes, which, I repeat to them, I thank them for their kindness.  I write my name in a notebook with my telephone number in it, they give Billy back his ID and we walk away from the beach laughing under our breath.  A half an hour or more with the police all talking in circles, my Spanish trying to understand how we get out of going to the police station, pay them but not asking if we can pay them, trying not to be too much of a pushover to the cops and not too sassy, trying to charm them and in the end it all cost $20.   The situation definitely felt it wasn’t going anywhere for a while, neither getting into worse trouble or getting out of it I felt like I was floating, but it definitely wasn’t a Buddha float.  No Zen about that.  Lesson learned: don’t make out on the beach (at least where they can see you) and cops don’t take bribes, but they may take donations.

The next day is my first day leading a dive.  We have some students in the morning and in the afternoon I lead the dive with Conal and Chase at Moonlight.  Before leaving for the dive DJ stops by to say hi, then his scooter doesn’t start.  We are all chuckling from across the street.  DJ has had more problems with his brand new scooter and he has had his own run in with the law.  A couple weeks ago he was driving into West End with a girl hitching a ride on the back when there was a police stop.  They already had some one stopped so he zipped through.  Chase, Kala and I were following in a car and then the lights of patrol car go on.  There is a police chase after DJ in West End, the gal jumps off at the Blue Marlin and the cops stop him, they take his license and registration.  The laws he broke were not stopping at the police stop and having a passenger not wearing a helmet.  The helmet is required outside of West End, but not in West End.  And then there may or may not be a law requiring your passenger to wear one too.  He had a helmet, but the girl didn’t.  It’s like you can make out in public but not on the beach?  Ok, maybe a stretch.  Well it ends up that DJ pays a fine and alls good.  A few days later his bike is stolen.  At the police station the next day they say they have found his scooter.  So back to DJ’s scooter not starting, they think it’s out of gas.  Chase offers for DJ to take his scooter to the gas station.  Chase’s scooter doesn’t start.  We are all laughing now at the spectacle.  Little Max is there chiming in Chase scooter broken, DJ scooter broken.  Finally Eddie gets Chase’s to start and then after gas in the scooter DJ’s starts.  Oh scooters!

max on chase's scooter

dj on his scooter

So Chase, Conal and I go diving, Kala and Mo each have their own students who are doing their certification.  The two things I am most worried about leading the dive is #1 finding the boat on the way back and #2 finding cool stuff to point out.  We head out to the reef wall and there a millions of fish everywhere, we immediately see a huge trunkfish with a remora on it, which is a sight to see because usually the trunkfish are much smaller and very shy, Chase finds a very small eel the size of a thumb sticking it’s head out of it’s little nest, it was an amazing dive and I found the boat!  We get back on the boat and have to wait for Mo and her student for a bit and when they surface in the distance I see a fin.  Is it a dolphin?  Yes!  It’s a pod of dolphins!  We quickly get Mo and her student on board and chase after the dolphins.  It’s amazing; I love finding dolphins!  Definitely a positive high- my first leading a dive and dolphins.

That nite I’m supposed to get online with my friends and talk to them via skype.  The internet stick needs to be filled beforehand.  I go to the internet café, they aren’t selling the refill today, I have to walk to the gas station.  The lady fills the card.  Back at my place the internet works for a bit and then less than a minute into talking to them it fails.  My lovely friends, I miss them so much but can’t see them because the people who are suppose to bring the video camera aren’t there yet and then my internet fails.  Total fail.  The wind is picking up and I think that it must be the reason why the internet isn’t working.  I call DJ who is in Sandy Bay at his house with the crew having dinner and ask if their internet is working and it is.  So I catch a cab to Sandy Bay and get online.  More of my friends than I expected are together to talk but none of them brought the video camera.  They can see me, but I can’t see them.  It was good to hear their voices, but I was pretty bummed I couldn’t see them.  It’s a bit confusing when talking in a group to figure out who is talking when you can’t see them.  Well, we will try it again.  I’m trying to stay positive that my internet will work without having to pay again and that they will remember the video camera next time!

This Buddha float has been fun, but I’m pretty sure there’s change in the wind, and I think it’s for the positive because you can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you’ll find you can get what you need.

Homesick

me and mom

The night before my mom came to visit I was on a boat.  Not a regular dive boat, or a water taxi, but a real live yacht.   Noelle, Chase, Kala, DJ and I were at the double docks up to no good.  There was a nice yacht pulled up beside it with about 6 latinos in the back dancing to the music.  DJ turns to me and says, something bad is going to happen on that boat tonite.  Then Noelle innocently asks the owners from atop the double docks how big their boat is, they say come down and see it, she says how big?  How long is your boat?  They say come down.  Noelle and I descend and as we are about board the boat, I say to the guy holding his hand out, permission to abort, he says board?  I say ya.  Oh my god we are on the boat.  It was so much fun, Noelle and I dance on the boat, we talk to the very nice people on the boat, we climb up to the captain’s chair and dance some more.  Then our friends decide to join us.  They have been laughing and watching us from the double dock.  Our new almost DMT Conal from London also joins us.  I dance with Rolando, he asks me where I learned to salsa, did I take classes?  No I tell him that I never really learned but when I was in Costa Rica I met this guy once who told me that you have to feel the music in your blood and you can dance to anything.  I’m sure he was stoned out of his gourd when he told me that, but I thought he was hot and it was valentine’s day so I asked him to be my valentine and we danced all nite long.  Oh ya and there are 3 really pretty girls on the boat with dental floss sequined bikinis but they are really nice to us and complement me on my dancing too.  Awe.  I need to get me a boat.

The next day my mom comes.  Noelle drives me to the airport to pick her up.  I see her from across the parking lot and before Noelle can park I’m already running to see her.  Mom, I love you!  We stay at the very simple but beautiful Jenny Blenny house.  Jenny’s last name isn’t Blenny and apparently she used to be a diver at Tyll’s and was an excellent DM and was really good at finding blennies so the name stuck.  The cabins are on the iron shore and look out on the dive site Canyon Reef.  My mom and I make breakfast and lunch almost every day and try a new restaurant every nite.  We watch the sunsets every nite with the waves crashing against the iron shore.  We read books, I lay in the hammock while my mom reads in the Adirondack chairs.  We alternate snorkeling every day between West Bay and Half Moon Bay.  My mom says that my dad calls this place fantasy island, but really I haven’t had a vacation like this since I’ve been here.  This is my vacation too.  My mom says she likes West Bay better for the snorkeling.  My mom swears that she has been to Half Moon Bay before.  Here’s the story.

So about 5 or 6 years ago I lived in New York City and for Christmas one year my parents decided to take a cruise with my Uncle Jim, Aunt Linda and their three boys (who all kick ass in their own special way).  We spent more money on booze on the cruise than the actual cruise.  Yes, we had fun.  We started the cruise in New Orleans, everyone gets wasted in New Orleans (nice job Coopers- damn those hurricanes are strong- the drink not actual hurricanes) and my cousin Garret somehow ends up with a black eye from Bourbon Street.  Anyway, our cruise takes us to Cancun, Cozumel, Belize and Roatan.  On Roatan we did not buy one of those excursion packages and decide to get a taxi and go to the beach.  I negotiate with the driver and tell him that we don’t want to go to a big crazy touristy beach and so he takes us to this restaurant with a beachfront.  My mom and I snorkel as my dad sits on the beach or in the bar smoking cigars and drinking beers.  There’s a big guy who is running the restaurant and a couple of hot guys come in while we are there, I think they must work there and they must be divers.  Since I’ve been here I’ve tried to figure out where we went to snorkel that day.  I figure it must be on the other side of the island, but when my mom comes she swears that it’s here.  She’s convinced that it’s the Argentinean Grill where we went because she remembers the restaurant and the sign in the bay from Karl’s submarine that says “GO DEEPER”.   Odd coincidence because I’m looking for a job and someone told me that they recently lost most of their employees.  Also one of my friends who used to live here worked there too. I wasn’t convinced but fine Mom, I guess you win there is too many coincidences, plus my dad said that it was some grill and some bay that we went to.  Whatever, I hate losing arguments; I’m supposed to be right like 99.99%.

the Argentinean Grill

On Sunday nite Noelle made an amazing Turkey dinner in celebration of my mom being here.  She made this amazing cornbread stuffing that is out of this world, I hope that when I go back to the house there still are leftovers.  Noelle, Chase, Kala, Conal, my mom and I are sitting down to dinner, we go to cheers as this amazing song starts and Kala looks at me and says you’re right, your show should be a life.  It was one of those picturesque moments in time.   We played poker after dinner and I totally won, somehow, it was fun.  I’m not going pro anytime soon though.

My mom loves butterflies so on Monday we went to the butterfly garden.  There were birds there too, but I don’t really like the birds so much.  Toucans and Parrots, dirty infested winged things that make loud noises, no thanks.  The butterflies were amazing though.  Later we went snorkeling again.  I have seen so many barracudas snorkeling the last few days.  In West Bay on Sunday I was snorkeling and saw a barracuda, no joke, as big as me.  He, of course it was a he duh, was just hanging out on a coral patch and starring at me.  Then he opened his mouth, ya I know they won’t attack, but I kinda freaked out.  On Monday we saw another barracuda in Half Moon Bay, much smaller but still with the mean looking eyes.  We also saw a lobster, trumpet fish, thousands of parrotfish, goatfish, angel fish, a lizard fish (whoo-hoo) and I think a sailfish.  It was a pretty adventurous snorkeling day.  We’ve just been reading, eating, snorkeling, reading, napping, eating, reading, snorkeling, eating etc. it’s been a great vacation for me as well.

I hate the end of vacations.  It’s like Sunday nite after a great weekend and you know you only have a few more hours before you have to go to bed and then back to the grind the next day.  I hate the actual traveling of vacations, waiting the last day for the time when you are supposed to go to the airport.  Then there is the car ride or the plane ride back home, then another car ride to home.  My friend Adriane always did it right by having another day to unwind at home before she went back to work.   Well, to be honest I do love my “work” here and my life here, but there is something to be said for home.

So I haven’t been homesick since I’ve been here.  Now with my mom here I’m reminded of everyone and miss home a lot.  When you travel, as cheesy as it sounds, your eyes open to new things, you meet new fun people and start to have relationships with the people you meet, but it’s not home.  What is home?  Is home where your heart is?  Your parents, your best friends, your gaggle of girlfriends each unique in their own way, those boys you hang out with who make you laugh, the people you’ve known forever those people are a part of my heart.  But my heart also loves adventure and traveling and new things.  Home is reassuring; home is comfortable.  Kala lent me the Power of Now by Eckhart Toll and I finished it while my mom was here.  The idea of the book is to live in the moment and in that moment in the “now” as he calls it is when you truly live, when you are at your most peaceful and true state.  For Mr. Toll I’m guessing that the Now is your home not a specific place.   Maybe when you are enlightened you don’t need a home?  Well I do miss my friends and family back home, so I guess I’m not freaking enlightened yet.  I love the now moments in my life, but still yearn for home.  Mr. Toll said not to think too much about anything just be, whatever I think too much my mom even said I should have been a philosophy major.  My friend Courtney told me not to read too many philosophy books while I’m here because I have too much time on my hands and might go crazy.  Alright then no more philosophizing next book needs to be fun.  Crap, I just started Blood Meridian, not so much fun.  The other books I brought are Nietzsche’s Beyond Good and Evil and Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment.   Maybe I can find some Maeve Binche on this island.

sitting on the dock of the bay

Well, I start Dive Mastering next week!  I still haven’t done my map; they changed it to Blue Channel because the map we have at the shop needs to be updated.  It’s a huge dive site so I’m excited and a little intimidated by the project, but hopefully it will make me a better diver.  I can’t believe it’s almost been 3 months!  My best friend Sabrena and her Troy are coming for a one day whirlwind tour on a cruise ship.  I have a list of things to do when my mom leaves; get my visa extended, find a job, find a new house (oh ya Noelle and Chase are moving because the neighbor said that he will shoot the dogs if he sees them out- why are people so freaking crazy here?), but I guess if I follow the advice of many here as well as Mr. Toll that it will all happen; either that or I’ll be back in a month.  Just kidding, what me give up fantasy island early?  Nah, it will all work out and I’ll be home in just 3 short months, plus I have to work up the nerve to ask the mystery guy out.  Wish me luck!

sunset brisk